How my Dad’s Overbearing Ways Helped me Find my Life’s Purpose

“A good teacher clarifies his own ideas and strengthens them by teaching them.  Teacher and Pupil are alike in the learning process.  They are in the same order of learning, and unless they share their lessons, conviction will be lacking. A good teacher must believe in the ideas he teaches, but he must meet another condition; he must believe in the students to who he offers the ideas.” A Course in Miracles

This brings to mind a couple thoughts for me:

  1.  My resistance to putting myself out there as a “Spiritual Teacher”
  2. The memory of my father’s egocentric desire to be smarter than those of us he felt the need to teach AND the desire of his heart (his True nature) to encourage and raise people up to what’s possible for them.

    This is Dad on one of his many adventures.

    This is Dad on one of his many adventures.

Of course the two thoughts are related.

Come with me as we explore how the very thing that I spent a good part of my life emotionally charged about  was an integral piece in beautifully preparing me for my life’s work.

And How I came to be in the position of Helping YOU Find Your Life’s Purpose

I do believe, like myself , Dad  had the Sacred Gift of Encouragement.   It’s the supernatural ability to be a trusted confidante, a good listener, trusted by others and a remarkable encourager.   He was also an avid reader and gifted Teacher.  And with many others his pure intentions came through and he helped miracles of healing to take place.  As is what happens when our gifts are being expressed through us.

But with me his ego (and mine) got in the way of me receiving the teaching he offered so generously – at least that’s what I thought.  God knows there were many times I did my best to prevent him from ‘teaching’ me when he was living.  It’s only now that I fully appreciate what I learned from him AND what we had in common.   I suppose it’s like when my own children demonstrate something that I intended to “teach” them.  It didn’t  appear to me that they were listening and willing to learn at the time but then when I least expected it I hear my words of wisdom come out of their mouths – Often as their own wisdom offered back to me.

I am remembering the day I took Dad to the VA Hospital in St. Pete for tests.    We were in the waiting room between rounds of testing.  I don’t remember what we were in conversation about; probably some current events, history or politics (his favorite subjects).   Well as he so often did he “fell into” his teaching mode.    Though in the past I had deflected the ideas he had to share with me, in that moment I allowed myself to consider it and let it sink in.   He must have noticed my receptivity because with great satisfaction he said “I guess I can still teach you something.”

It was a demonstration of him living his life’s purpose.  As I sat there with my father allowing him to be who he was and do what he did so naturally, I felt my own ego fall away and allowed myself to be there with him as who I am, a willing and receptive student of life, and a deep listener.  It was a brief but eternal moment of two souls learning together.  In that moment we were equals, one with each other and with God.

Now, we come upon my resistance in putting myself out there as a teacher; especially a Spiritual Teacher.  Who am I to be a teacher?  My fear was of appearing to be smarter ‘smarty pants’, wiser than ‘know it all’, above ‘superior to’ others.  In terms of our true nature I know I am no better than anyone else.    We are each Special but not one of us any more ‘special’ than the other.

But as my friend Gary Steele (a gifted teacher himself)  often says; “In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king.”   I know that I too have wisdom and gifts to offer others who are in a different place along their journey.

I do so ‘believe in the students to whom I offer ideas.’ AND as I coach and teach, I am learning alongside them.   I am very clear that there is no “I am right and you are wrong” ultimately. Each perspective has value.   What I felt with Dad very often was I am ‘wrong’, ‘less than’, ‘inferior’, ‘not enough’.   Of course I don’t want to make others feel the pain of that.  

But if I am to put myself out there as a Spiritual Teacher and share ideas with confidence and the intention to help others evolve then I run the risk of them feeling the same way I felt with Dad.

Ultimately however, it’s not my job to control how others feel and react to the ideas I share.

And I don’t know exactly how any experience will serve them in the unfolding of their own life’s purpose – But I know that every experience will serve them.

My experience of my dad certainly served in me living my life’s purpose; as it motivated me to lift people up to be their true self, realize their own brilliance and live their own life’s purpose.    It was Dad’s confidence in the ideas he shared, being willing to show up as ‘arrogant’ at times that helped me own my role as Spiritual Teacher.

So who am I to teach?   Well, who am I not to?   For if I don’t and I hold back from fear I rob those around me from experiencing the miracles that are possible for them.    And I certainly do not want to rob them of that.”

Coaching Call to Action:

  1.  Go to your ‘sacred space’, center yourself and reflect on what purposeful work you are being called to do or the work you are doing right now that feels in alignment with who you are authentically.
  2. Open your heart to remember those experiences, relationships or events that helped prepare and equip you for this work.
  3. Share below- your sharing will help inspire and free others in the process.


Love and Blessings,



Do you feel yourself being called to something ‘bigger’, more meaningful or just want to feel more on purpose and aligned with who you really are?    I’d love to hear about it and see how I can be of help.    Let’s connect and explore together.    Schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation here.


In her work as a Spiritual, Life and Conscious Business Coach, Cathy Silva, aka The Innerwiz Coach brings to a goldmine of wisdom, and life strategies learned and gained from surviving life’s challenges.   She has an uncanny gift to draw out your unique brilliance – especially when you can’t see it yourself.   She is trusted confidante’, guide, and coach to Leaders from all walks of life who depend on her to be a sounding board and wise adviser as they grow personally and professionally, strengthen their relationships and express their mission and message in the world.  learn more at


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